What a difference an MRI makes...

Hey gente--

things have radically changed for me, and not in a puerile political catchphrase way. I had been winding down in energy for while now, since last October, and right after my final probationary evaluation (yay, I did well),. I just about fell out of work starting Dec 1. Vertigo, walking weird, blurry vision, incredible fatigue... my neuro here had me take some MRIs, and number 1- I had a bulging disc in my neck pressing on my spinal cord and 2- I had "christmas lites (lesions, spots) in my brain. He advised me, "If you were my daughter, I would take these MRIs and go to Scripps or Barrow in PHX and go into the emergency room. It will take too long to get referrals and there's no way it can be handled right now in Yuma. We don't really have all the specialists."

So go I did, and had a lovely 8 day hospital stay, six days of which was for testing and testing and MRIs and CTs.. and had neck surgery on day 6 of all that. That went well, then I was told to come back 3-4 weeks later to see both my neurosurgeon AND a neuroimunologist. Sheesh.

Long story short-- cadaver bone and plate in neck is good, but I don't have RA, I have relapsing remitting Multiple Sclerosis. This might be why I was so low on energy, had hard time focusing, and could have cared less about the news the last part of last year. I dont' even wanna THINK about politics riht now, because frankly, a lot of it seems short term crap to me as we speak of it in this country now, and not discussions of real systemic change.

So perhaps my foci will change now (change I need!), but undoubtedly I will be snarky and cranky and not a true believer (tm) in the Great Tan Hope. I wish him well, I wish he would have said "Biracial" a few times, and hope the fact he would never be able to fulfill the needs of all the people voting for him does not come as a surprise to anyone.

Oh yeah, and the Ms seems to have affected my typing, spelling, and speaking a bit. fun to aphasia when you teach english!

Anyway... paz y feliz ano nuevo to mi amiga/os out there. There's always Spain....

TC

Are we free now? Can I put up my guns?

Of course not. As Tavis Smiley mentioned, "are we better off? Is this a great moment [the election of BO] for black america? Undoubtedly.

Are we free? No. We have a long way to go."

So i won't put away my guns, literal and otherwise. I'm old enough to have gone through enough socialist disappointment and liberal well-meaningness to know that the game is not played by the ones in the front-- it is played by those behind them and those, moreover, with MONEY OR MEDIA.

anyone wanna join me raising 10 million or so so that maybe the voice of the poor, unemployed, gay, lesbian, disabled, not-rich are heard? I dont' anticipate change until we change our heads and thoughts. To that effort, I suppose I will still stay in education, where I was once asked "God, why do we have to study this stuff and not our own writing?" The author, fellow travelers, was Sandra Cisneros.

Viva ignorancia!

The hiatus from hell and the post from hell

Nope.Nary a post in over a month, and I will tell you why, besides the obvious life is really busy line: I'm saddened, even depressed, at the state of the union and the state of my state. I came within a hair of leaving, and decided the job I have is worth more than leaving for a bit of uncertainty when I really need health insurance.

No hope for me-- but I'm not without expectation of more grandstanding BS everywhere on everything. No expectation of grand change. My belief in the corporate economy always finding a way to pull us out of economic doldrums is still strong because hey, they want to keep making money. Exxon for president. My search for a place in Iceland, Canada, or elsewhere really is picking up. My embarrassment of public discourse (what passes for it) is still quite powerful. I cannot watch or read news unless it's in an international paper now. Physically, I hurt and feel ill watching a mad scramble to keep the amorphous US on top of some amorphous world which is going to leave us behind as embarrassing relics of economic colonization, as the Brits got left behind earlier.

I suppose it is buttressing my understanding of how gain means more pain, not less. There is never enough for many Americans-- never, ever. There has to be one more car, CD, even the last word in debates of well-intentioned people who want to be right, to be secure, to not see how painfully intentions hurt when the ones you want to help can see in reality how very much MORE you seem to have. A fear of choices, of multiplicities, of being wrong, of having to DECIDE for ourselves and then react in interesting ways if threatened-- these fears are palpable and more dangerous all the time.

I fear something insidious in its own way, besides the gradual numbing of the critical mind-- I fear that the fear will make its way into the hearts of people who struggle to find a way through the middle of the mess, skirting every car wreck and human disaster, and that it will embitter them. Too many tears are shed in private, in anger, over the general numbing and fear shown by so many who we KNOW we could help if... if...

And the truth is, we don't really know how to do it, how to fix it, how to get right again. We might not even remember right. In the binary world we built, you would think it would be easy, but our binaries push against infinites and collapse and frighten the bejeezus out of us. We just know there has to be an US and a THEM, and they ain't WE and we certainly would NEVER be THEM! Onward Christian/Muslin/Israeli/Palestinian/Black/White/Brown/Straight/Gay soldiers, marching as to self-annihilation with only the ones with enough to hide out or move or have more soldiers left standing.

This is my world, this hell, and a life that I guess I never saw coming in a country I used to love so much it hurt, and I don't just mean during the Olympics.

Oh yeah. Enjoy those.

Attempt to ban "unamerican, anti western civilization" activities

PLEASE get this out there! An addendum to a homeland security bill could spell death to student groups organized by race (even if they're not exclusionary of members), and potentially for religious, LGBTQIA orga, etc in Arizona. We can carry guns in schools but not have an organization? I HATE THIS PLACE!!!!! AAAAQGGGHHHH!!!!!

Cliqa below to go to the site. I ordered some UFW buttons....

UFW ARIZONA CAMPAIGN

Help fight Ariz. bill to ban ethnic student groups like MEChA, Black Business Students Assoc.
Multiculturalism is a basic American concept. We value the beliefs, traditions, customs, arts, history and folklore of the diverse cultures reflected throughout our nation. All this is being put at risk in Arizona, where last week the Appropriations Committee passed an amendment to a routine homeland security bill, SB 1108 that would prohibit students at the state’s public universities and community colleges from organizing groups based on race (ie: groups such as MEChA, the Black Business Students Association, Native Americans United, etc.)

Please take action today. This bill could reach the Arizona House floor as early as this week.

According to newspaper reports, Rep. John Kavanagh (R-Scottsdale), a supporter of the measure called these campus organizations, "'self-defeating' and 'self-destructive' for students."

Self-defeating? Multiculturalism doesn’t limit students. It gives them pride in who they are and enhances their being fuller people by fostering the concept of America being the land of opportunity. As Cesar Chavez said, "Preservation of ones' culture doesn’t mean contempt for others'."

These student groups are like any other school club or fraternity. They bring students together so they can achieve academic success. They offer a place to meet, make friends and support one another. Their goal is to help students succeed. For example, the members of the University of Arizona's MEChA chapter visit high schools to encourage students to attend college. They hold events and fundraisers to spread the message that education is the key to success.

The bill goes one step further. It also would ban public schools or colleges from including race-based classes or school sponsored activities. Officially the language says it would ban any activity "deemed contradictory to the values of American democracy or Western civilization." However, the language is so broad, who knows what could be prohibited? Certainly Chicano studies, African-American studies & other ethnic studies programs would be put at risk.

Studies show that students who learn about their race and culture have a lower-drop out rate. In truth, if this bill passes it could cause a huge set back in our educational system.

Please take immediate action. If you live in Arizona, e-mail your representatives immediately as well as the Speaker of the House. If you live outside Arizona, please e-mail the Arizona Speaker of the House today and let him know the eyes of the nation are on Arizona.

More Texas love for death row!

I follow the death row stuff in Texas with a bit of distance, but the finality of this inmate's quote got me thinking again about the DP and how it works versus what people THINK it does (deter crime):
"Nobody cares," he said bitterly. "It doesn't matter. Death is the best chance to get out of this place."

Watts said he'd be expecting an execution date, which would be a "real low blow."

"I don't put my trust in no judge," he said. "They make mistakes, just like we do. ... I don't believe the state of Texas has the right to murder anyone."

The other interesting one, albeit from a person weary of it all, is:
"They're all crooks," he said. "If you show me one honest one, I'll show you 10 that ain't. it's all a buddy system. And when you get hung up in it, there's not much you can do. They're hoping I'll keep my mouth shut and die, but since I'm about dead anyway, I won't shut up."

And herein is the story about something I think we all get hung up in:


Supreme Court ruling puts Texas inmates closer to execution

By MICHAEL GRACZYK Associated Press Writer
© 2008 The Associated Press




LIVINGSTON, Texas — The question for some condemned Texas inmates lately has not been if they would face execution, but how.

The U.S. Supreme Court's ruling that lethal injection is not unconstitutionally cruel answered the question of how, and it also brought execution dates considerably closer for prisoners in the nation's busiest capital punishment state.

"It's going to be real crazy," Kevin Watts, sentenced to die for the slayings of three people during a robbery at a San Antonio restaurant five years ago, said from a small visiting cage at the prison unit where the state's 360 condemned men are housed.

Watts, 26, is among dozens of inmates whose appeals have been exhausted since Sept. 25. That's when the high court decided to take up a challenge from Kentucky prisoners who contended the lethal injection procedure used in that state, similar to the one employed in Texas and other states, violated constitutional protections against cruel and unusual punishment.

The justices, in a 7-2 vote announced Wednesday, upheld the process, clearing the way for capital punishment to resume. In Texas, where 405 inmates have been put to death since 1982, that number could begin rising as early as a month from now.

Prisoners who had execution dates but whose punishments were stopped for additional reviews are eligible to die within 30 days. For inmates who will get their first dates, execution could be held in 90 days.

The Texas Attorney General's Office, which handles capital case appeals once they get into the federal courts, called the hiatus in executions since last fall "delayed justice for crime victims and their families." The office will "take the legal action necessary to bring closure to these victims," spokesman Jerry Strickland said.

"The way the courts are ruling, I lost all hope," said David Lewis, who was convicted of killing a Lufkin woman during a burglary 21 years ago.

Like Watts, Lewis in January had his case rejected by the Supreme Court, clearing the way for his likely death.

"Look at history," he said. "They'd just find something else. We all know it."

"I'm not concerned if they put a bullet between the eyes," added 70-year-old Jack Smith, the state's oldest condemned prisoner. "Dead is dead, no matter how you go about it."

Smith, on death row for some 31 years for a fatal shooting during a Houston robbery, said lethal injection would always provoke controversy and was merely the progression from other methods.

"You had the electric chair, hanging at the gallows, now this," he said. "They're always going to try to find another method."

Smith lost his appeal before the justices in February.

"I'll contest them any day of the week," said Smith, who maintains his innocence of the slaying where authorities said $90 was taken in the robbery. "The courts, the D.A., they can squash your case and sit on it hoping I'll die of old age."

That may not happen.

Harris County Assistant District Attorney Roe Wilson, who handles capital case appeals for the state's most active death penalty county, said Thursday that Smith is likely to among several Harris County inmates to get an execution date imminently.

One problem may be the volume of cases and coordinating them with the attorney general's office, she said.

"We're just going to have to get the dates and stagger them," she said.

Besides Smith, others are likely to include Derrick Sonnier, who was scheduled to die in February for the 1992 rape-slaying of an Humble woman. Sonnier won a reprieve because of the Kentucky case. Another is Jose Medellin, condemned for the rape-slayings of two Houston teenagers 15 years ago.

Medellin and Cesar Fierro were among seven Mexican-born inmates on Texas death row who last month lost their bids for appeal before the Supreme Court in a case where the justices said President Bush overstepped his authority trying to reopen their cases.

"If I die, this could be the best thing to happen to me," said Fierro, 51, convicted of the 1979 robbery-slaying of an El Paso taxi driver. He's been on death row more than 28 years but says he's innocent.

"Nobody cares," he said bitterly. "It doesn't matter. Death is the best chance to get out of this place."

Watts said he'd be expecting an execution date, which would be a "real low blow."

"I don't put my trust in no judge," he said. "They make mistakes, just like we do. ... I don't believe the state of Texas has the right to murder anyone."

Smith was equally critical of the justice system.

"They're all crooks," he said. "If you show me one honest one, I'll show you 10 that ain't. it's all a buddy system. And when you get hung up in it, there's not much you can do. They're hoping I'll keep my mouth shut and die, but since I'm about dead anyway, I won't shut up."

Smith, whose fellow inmates call him "Old Man," also said the ruling wasn't all bad news.

"I've been blessed in a way," he said, "I could have been out on the streets and been run over.

"I'm old. I'm ready."

Dire straits in Tibet.. again

Tibetan monks

I post this not merely as a Buddhist with emotional ties (yes, the kind that keep us in samsara) to the land of snows and Buddhists struggling in Tibet, Burma, and elsewhere, but as a person quite concerned with the dangerous policy of allowing people who we owe scads of money to and who we are practically owned by (oil, cheap wal-mart items, you name it) to dictate bad rules. Please, please, please, let us be blessed with leaders who will not simply fall into pockets of our trade partners who oppress their own people! Chinese workers and people deserve the opportunity to enjoy life as we expect to do, and they too fall victim to policies they do not dictate. News and info is highly censored, so please, if you have a moment, spread the word about this.


For more history of this conflict, please go to:Tibet Govt in Exile or Int'l Campaign for Tibet or Int'l Tibet Support


Tibetan Government-in-Exile Says 19 More Shot Dead in New Protests
By VOA News
18 March 2008


Tibet's India-based government-in-exile says at least 99 people have been killed in unrest over the past week, including 19 Tibetans who were shot dead by security forces Tuesday in new protests in China's western Gansu province.

Witnesses in the Gansu county of Machu say police blocked off the streets after Buddhist monks and other Tibetans held a rally there. Witnesses tell VOA Tibetan service that they could confirm that at least 12 people were killed.

Chinese authorities have so far only confirmed the deaths of 13 people they described as "innocent civilians" who died in Friday's riots in the Tibetan capital Lhasa.

The reports Tuesday of new violence came as China again blamed Tibet's exiled spiritual leader, the Dalai Lama, for the unrest. The Dalai Lama pledged Tuesday to step down as the head of the Tibetan government-in-exile if the situation gets out of control.

The Dalai Lama said his commitment to non-violence would require him to step down.

Earlier Tuesday, Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao blamed the Dalai Lama and his followers for orchestrating violent protests in Tibet. Mr. Wen said rioters caused heavy loss of life and that the government acted with extreme restraint in putting down the protests.

From Lhasa, protests against Chinese rule have spread to other communities inside Tibet and other parts of China. Late Monday night, Tibetan students at the Central University for Nationalities in Beijing staged a candle-light vigil.


Details of recent events in Tibet are difficult to verify because Chinese authorities have not permitted foreign journalists to report from the region.

Chinese media Tuesday published more accounts of alleged violence carried out by Tibetan rioters Friday against Han Chinese and Chinese Muslims. Official media also carried reports criticizing Western press coverage of the events, and defended China's response to what the media called criminal activities.

China has controlled Tibet since 1951. The Dalai Lama and thousands of his followers fled from Tibet to India in 1959, during a failed revolt against Chinese rule. China denounces the Dalai Lama as a crusader for independence, but he says he has campaigned for nothing more than true autonomy for his homeland.

Some information for this report was provided by AFP and Reuters.

Take the body quiz

i was much more involved in Women's History month when I lived places people gave a damn about things like that... but oh well. Here's to another year of free-for-alls on women who speak their pieces, violence against women, economic oppression, and overall heavy pressure for the gender, and may it all end for all soon!! Adelante, mis amigas!!

Here, y'all might enjoy this quiz. Hug your female friends!
Take me! Now!