Wednesday, September 30, 2009

The creep-up-on-you blues

Today has been one of those hectically annoying days, full of meetings of different types and work and more meetings... and work. And a sammich or two.

But it's also been a little insidious to me. I have been having a hard time sleeping so I finally took a scrip crip muscle relaxer to sleep, and did well. But the insidious leg issues began-- first in my left hip/ back joint, which stretching sometimes help, and then worse, the creeping sensation that my knees will buckle soon. Off and on I've been using my cane, more off in the last week than on, but the feeling of legs about to go is really a little-- well, depressing or at least off-putting. I don't like to be reminded of relapses and all that. I've been in a kind of relapse for a few weeks, mostly dizziness and weakness, and I'm thinking I got the dizziness beat now. The legs? Hmm, I dunno.

I don't think having MS makes me any more depressed than I had been, because I'm mostly over the "woe is me, I can't play football anymore!" I hadn't done sport in a long time, short of the gym. Now, I'm using my overtiredness as an excuse to avoid the gym, even when I'm not as tired as I used to be! Sick, isn't it?

But yesterday, when it was still over 100F here, the wobbly legs and my tiredness and the heat kind of brought me down. Sometimes I just wish wheelchair time would arrive so I could get a superfast Ben-Hur chair with photon torpedoes. I WILL be that pain in the ass crip!

But until then.. sigh!

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